Lessons from a Somatic Therapist: How to “Sit” with your Feelings

Have you ever been asked by a therapist to "sit with your feelings" and wondered what that meant? It might sound strange, but it's a powerful way to understand and cope with your emotions. Sitting with your feelings means taking the time to really notice and understand your emotions without trying to push them away or ignore them. In this blog, we will break down, from a somatic approach, how to "sit" with your feelings and why it's important.

Step 1: Acknowledge and Allow Yourself to Feel

The first step in sitting with your feelings is to acknowledge them. This means recognizing that you are having an emotion. The emotion could be happiness, sadness, anger, or a combination of a few emotions. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without trying to change it. It's okay to feel sad or angry; these emotions are a normal part of being human.

Helpful Hint: Use a Feelings Wheel

Sometimes, it can be hard to identify exactly what you're feeling. This is where a feelings wheel can help. A feelings wheel is a tool that shows many different emotions and can help you find the right word to describe how you feel. You can use it by starting with the basic emotions in the center, like "happy" or "sad." Then look at the more specific feelings around them. For example, if you're feeling "happy," you might also feel "excited" or "content." To find a copy of a feelings wheel, image search "feelings wheel" on any browser!

Step 2: Stay Mindful and in the Present Moment

Mindfulness means focusing on the present moment without getting caught up in worries about the past or future. As humans, it is common and normal when we try to focus on something for worrisome thoughts to pop into our heads. That is okay! The goal isn't to have worries, the goal is to not get sucked into our worries. The goal is to notice what you're feeling right now, without trying to analyze or judge it. You can practice mindfulness by taking deep breaths and paying attention to how your body feels with each breath. When thoughts about what you are having for dinner or a mistake you made at work come up, you can say to yourself, "Keep focusing on my breath."

Step 3: Validate Your Feelings

Validation means accepting your feelings as they are. It’s about telling yourself that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. For example, if you’re feeling nervous about a project at work, instead of saying, "I shouldn't feel this way," you can say, "It's understandable that I feel nervous; work is important, and it's okay to care about doing well."

Step 4: Notice Physical Sensations

Emotions often come with physical sensations. For example, when you're anxious, you might feel your heart racing or your palms sweating. When you're sad, you might feel a heaviness in your chest. Notice these sensations without trying to change them. Simply observe how your body feels. This can help you understand your emotions better and release trauma in your body.

Step 5: Let Emotions Exist Without Judgment

It's important to let your emotions exist without judging them. This means not labeling them as "good" or "bad." Sadness and anger are not "bad" and happiness is not "good." Emotions are signals from your body and mind, telling you how you're responding to your environment. They are simply information! Instead of thinking, "Feeling sad is bad," try thinking, "I'm feeling sad right now, and that's okay."

Step 6: Get Curious About Your Feelings

Instead of trying to push your feelings away, get curious about them. Ask yourself questions like, "Why am I feeling this way?" or "What might have triggered this emotion?" This curiosity can help you learn more about yourself and your emotional responses. It's like being a detective, trying to understand the clues your emotions are giving you.

Step 7: Practice Compassion: How Would You Support a Friend?

One of the best ways to sit with your feelings is to practice self-compassion. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself about your feelings. Are you being kind and understanding, or are you being critical and harsh? Try to speak to yourself with the same compassion you would show a friend. Would you tell them they're silly or wrong for feeling a certain way? No! You'd listen, offer comfort, and remind them that it’s okay to feel that way. Try to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding.

Putting It All Together

Let's imagine a situation where you can use these steps. Suppose you got into an argument with a friend, and you're feeling upset.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize that you’re feeling upset. It’s okay to feel this way.

2. Stay Mindful: Focus on the present moment. Take deep breaths and notice how you’re feeling right now.

3. Validate Your Feelings: Tell yourself it’s okay to feel hurt and angry. Your feelings are valid.

4. Notice Physical Sensations: Observe what is happening in your body. Notice if your heart is racing or if you have a tight feeling in your stomach.

5. Let Emotions Exist Without Judgment: Remind yourself that these emotions aren’t “bad”; they’re just part of your experience.

6. Get Curious: Think about why you’re feeling this way. Maybe the argument reminded you of past experiences.

7. Practice Compassion: Ask yourself how you’d support a friend who feels this way. Offer yourself the same kindness.

Start Somatic Therapy in Detroit, Ann Arbor or Anywhere in Michigan

By following these steps, you can learn to sit with your feelings in a healthy way. This practice can help you understand your emotions better and build resilience, so you can handle life's ups and downs with more confidence. If you are having trouble sitting with your feelings by yourself, Embodied Wellness, PLLC has trained somatic therapists to support you! You don’t have to sit alone.

In order to start Somatic therapy at Embodied Wellness, PLLC, follow these steps:

1. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation for Somatic therapy today.

2. Make your first appointment with a Somatic therapist in Detroit, Michigan

3. Connect with your mind and body today!

Other Online Therapy Services We Offer in Detroit & Throughout Michigan

At Embodied Wellness, PLLC we offer a variety of services for both adults and teenagers through online therapy in Michigan. Some of the specialties we offer include empath counseling and OCD treatment. As well as anxiety treatment, depression treatment, trauma therapy, and PTSD treatment. Some of the other techniques we use include EMDR therapy and Internal Family Systems. If you are ready to start getting mental health support reach out to us today!

About the Author:

Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP is the founder and one of the therapists at Embodied Wellness, PLLC, a group therapy practice providing online therapy in Michigan. Embodied Wellness specializes in trauma, depression, and anxiety treatment for adolescents and anxiety. She is passionate about expanding awareness of somatic therapy as a way to treat trauma. She incorporates other holistic treatments into her practice including EMDR, IFS, and attachment therapy.